I. INTRODUCTION
Welcome to the Natishco Non-Denominational, Mildly Offensive,
Season's Greetings Card
This sheet is designed to provide you with the information you
will need as a valued Natishco customer to adequately enjoy this
year's fin d'année greeting card. Please read this sheet fully
before running the program(s) on the CD.
Hopefully, by now, you've read the waiver, the gist of which is:
If you break the seal or choose to run the CD, you've agreed not
to copy or distribute the CD or any part of it, and to waive
damages arising from the CD. Standard issue software licence
stuff.
II. REQUIREMENTS:
IBM-PC Compatible Pentium 90Mhz 4x CD-ROM (Preferably higher)
Windows 95/98 or NT Service Pack 2 Sound card
If you're a MAC user, I don't know. It may work, it may not.
III. IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS BEFORE VIEWING:
1. If you don't have Microsoft Media Player, the most recent
version is included on this CD for your installation (over most
previous versions of Media Player, the new version typically
offers better frame rates and resolution). If you choose to
install the Media Player, you must agree to all parts of the
licence provided in the installation program by Microsoft. (The
file is mpfull.exe)
2. The other file that it would be a good idea to install is
iv5play.exe (also on the CD) from Intel, which will install the
latest codecs (short for video COder/DECoder) on your machine for
faster, smoother viewing.
3. For maximum efficiency, your CD-ROM drive should be set to
"No Read-Ahead". Under your Control Panel's
"System" button (or by right clicking on "My
Computer" and then "Properties" ), Click on the
"Performance" Tab, then on the box labeled "File
System". Then click on the "CD-ROM" tab. In the
window where it says "Optimize access pattern for:",
where it likely says, "Quad-speed or higher", change it
to "No Read Ahead". You'll probably be asked to reboot
your computer. Do it. (You can change back to read-ahead later
on, after you've finished with the greeting card).
After that, sit back, kick up the volume, grab yourself a mess of
popcorn and enjoy this year's Natishco season's greetings.
IV. RUNNING THE '98 XMAS CARD
The operative file to run is xcard98.avi
You can run this file in one of three ways.
1. In windows explorer, go to your CD-ROM drive letter, and
double-click on "xcard98.avi"
2. Click the start button, then "Run". In the text box,
type "D:/xcard98.avi" where D is the letter designation
for your CD-ROM drive.
3. Click the start button, then Programs, Accessories, Multimedia
and then Media Player. Click on File/Open, look in your CD-ROM
Drive letter, and open "xcard98.avi"
Click the forward arrow (play button) to start playing the file.
The program should run entirely off of the CD - you don't have to
install any of the program file to your hard drive.
V. FAQ / TROUBLESHOOTING
Q: The video is choppy. What the dealy-yo?
A: The video is captured at 15 frames per second, so it should be
just a little choppy, though not much. Excessive choppiness
either denotes a slow processor or CD-ROM drive or an unoptimized
system.
Try these couple of suggestions. First, exit other applications
which are active on your desktop to afford maximum resources to
the Media Player. Secondly, under your Control Panel's
"System" button (or by right clicking on "My
Computer" and then "Properties" ), Click on the
"Performance" Tab, then on the box labeled "File
System". Then click on the "CD-ROM" tab. In the
window where it says "Optimize access pattern for:", of
it says, "Quad-speed or higher", change it to "No
Read Ahead". If it says the latter, change it to the former.
Depending on your computer, one of the two settings should work
better. (You will be asked to reboot your computer)
A cold boot (shutting your computer down for ten or more seconds
and then booting back up) tends to help in resource allocation
problems as well. You heard it here first.
Q: My CD-ROM can't seem to read the CD.
A: Some older CD-ROM players may not be able to read this CD.
I've tried to make it so that the CD has the widest possible
reflectivity (distribution). If it doesn't work on your computer,
it will probably work on your neighbour's. Seriously.
Q: My Windows explorer only reads audio tracks on the CD-ROM.
A: Your CD-ROM player has some serious emotional issues that it
needs to deal with. Try using a different procedure to run the
program, such as #3 on the previous page. Otherwise, use someone
else's computer.
Q: The image is grainy.
A: Try adjusting your display to run with a higher number of
colours. Also, run the program at its normal size. Also,
upgrading to the new version of the Media Player might help.
Q: The file won't play! It says something about a decoder
missing!!!
A: Run iv5play.exe off of the CD to install the latest A/V
coder-decoder settings on your computer.
Q: If this was rated by, say, the MPAA, what rating would it be
given?
A: I would think it would be rated PG-16 - intermittent
profanity, simulated violence, marginally mature content (you may
come to your own conclusion on that), but thank the Lord, no
episodes of nudity.
Q: What the hell is a commissionaire?
A: The Canadian version of a security guard. Very prevalent in
Ottawa.
Q: What's with the XC2K thing? Is that a future project?
A: Can't tell you, and yes and no.
This information will appear on your CD-ROM as a README.txt file.
Other technical problems which may appear may be dealt with on
the Natishco worldwide technical service page on the internet at
http://www.natishco.com/help.shtml
If you have a particular question you'd like to see addressed,
please mail it to me for posting on the web page.
Don't phone me, I am likely passed out.
Your feedback on Natishco products is valued. Feel free to send
comments on Natishco products through our home page on the
internet or through email to the Natishco webmaster.
Natischo Towers features luxurious guest accomodations which
favoured customers of the corporation are eligible to use when
they pass through town.
VI. LICENCE AND WAIVER
IMPORTANT - CAREFULLY READ THIS LICENCE BEFORE USING THIS
PRODUCT. USING THIS PRODUCT IN ANY WAY INDICATES YOUR
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT YOU HAVE READ THIS LICENCE AND AGREE TO ITS
TERMS.
Licence: You are licenced to use one copy of the enclosed product
"xcard98.avi" on a single computer, free of charge.
This copy may be used by only a single user at a single time. If
you wish to use the product for more users, you will need an
additional licence for each user, which can be obtained in
writing from John G. Hnatyshyn. You may not copy or distribute,
broadcast, transmit, sell, donate, demonstrate, give, bequeath,
transfer or offer to any other person this product or any part of
this product without the express written consent of John G.
Hnatyshyn.
THE PRODUCT IS PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS" BASIS, WITHOUT
ANY OTHER WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. JOHN G.
HNATYSHYN SHALL NOT HAVE ANY LIABILITY TO YOU, OR ANY OTHER
PERSON OR ENTITY FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, SPECIAL OR
CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES WHATSOEVER. YOU USE THIS PRODUCT
EXCLUSIVELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
The Licence to use this software in any way, in part or in whole,
may be revoked immediately by John G. Hnatyshyn with or without
reason at any time.